Visiting Hours
by Jaha Canon
Summary: After Toji's death, Shinji feels obliged to visit someone in the hospital


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Visiting Hours

By: Jaha Canon

Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or the characters in it.

Summary: After Toji's death, Shinji feels obliged to visit someone in the hospital.

Note: I'm writing from the manga, I know that the anime and the manga are near identical, but I just thought I could maybe avoid some confusion.

Shinji got out his security card and slides it though. The door to NERV HQ opened and he walked in. This is the first time he came without being asked to. The entire headquarters knew that Shinji was friends with the forth child, Toji Suzuhara, and they also knew of Shinji's past problems with the Evangelion. People he passed watched as he passed with curiosity.

Shinji ignored the stares, he knew where he was going. The trauma unit of the infirmary. Where she was. He walked up to a door marked "SUZUHARA" and walked in. 

She was a cute kid. She looked about 10 years old. Ignoring all the bandages, the tubes going into her skin, the heart monitor, etc., Shinji could almost imagine she was sleeping rather than fighting a losing battle for her life. 

And now, he had killed her older brother. Well, his Eva did, because of the Dummy plug system. But Shinji just couldn't get it out of his mind that there must have been SOMETHING he could do about it. 

He saw Toji just the night before, he had never seen him so scared before.

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Shinji was about to start home when suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see his friend Toji, standing there will a loss of words. 

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"Shinji…" Toji finally said, "When you first got in an Eva… how did it feel?"

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Shinji did not understand yet where this conversation was going. He was confused by Toji's helpless expression. 

"What…?" he asked, "Why?"

"What did it feel like?" Toji asked again. "Were you scared?"

Shinji was really concerned how, "Why are you asking?" 

Is Toji shaking? Shinji couldn't tell yet.

"I…" Toji began, his expression looked more frightened than helpless, "Someone from NERV came today… told me to be a pilot…"

Shinji's eyes widened in shock. No wonder he was so scared. 

Toji continued, "Told me…if I joined dey'd transfer my sister… Y'know…t'da trauma unit y' got at NERV HQ."

Shinji looked at the patient. That's right, it was for her that Toji got into the Eva in the first place. And it was Shinji's fault that she got hurt. Shinji felt his face where he was punched when he first met Toji. The bruise was long gone.

It was all his fault.

"She could get much better treatment dere, dey said… y'know… so…" Toji forced a smile, "I said 'yes' "

Toji, then, grabbed Shinji's shirt. "I'm scared", he fell to his knees , still clutching Shinji's shirt. "I'm so scared."

He removed one hand from Shinji's shirt and looked at it. 

"I kept telling myself today it's no big deal…but look… I'm shakin' " he held out his hand for Shinji to see, "…I… can't stop shakin'…"

It was Shinji's turn to force a smile, "Hey, it's okay" he said, kneeling down to Toji, "It isn't any big deal. It's scary at first, but you get used to it quick. Yeah, we have to fight…but everyone at NERV backs us up all the way…and… and…you're actually safer inside the Eva…"

'Safer?!' Toji's dead! How is anything 'safe' if someone dies in it. So many people close to Shinji had at least near death experiences because of it. His mother and Toji were killed. Rei Ayanami, Asuka Langely Soryu, Misato Katsuragi, and even himself almost died because of those horrible monsters. The Eva is not safe. 

"_You'll be fine, you can do it. I mean, if I could do it…"_

The flashback slowly faded away in Shinji's mind at he was back in the hospital room with Toji's sister. It was then when Shinji noticed a scar across her face. Even if she somehow got better, that scar was never going to go away.

Suddenly, Shinji noticed something. Nothing was going into the girl's body through the tubes. It was just sitting there. And the heart monitor… it wasn't even connected to her. He remembered learning how to take pulses about a year before and he took her hand and checked it. No pulse. No heartbeat. 

Shinji's eyes suddenly widened with realization. He turns to the door in time to see Dr. Ristuko Akagi walk by. 

"Dr. Akagi!" He yelled.

Ritsuko stopped and turned to Shinji. 

"How long… has she been dead?" Shinji asked, trembling. 

Ritsuko looked at Shinji long for a while before telling him:

"She died right after the incident." 

Shinji turned and dashed out the door.

-End-

Errr… I am sort of used to writing humor stories. I like to write the occasional angst though. I hope you enjoyed my story! 


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